Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize