My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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