there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
This toilet bowl is my home.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
