I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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