i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
