my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
