He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
