I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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