I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
