it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
