do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
