Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
