Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize