Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
