You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
