She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
