it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's paint friendship bongs
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize