how hairy? two words: wookie tits
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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