I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
