Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
