im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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