so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I think my moral compass just broke
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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