But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
