Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
