barbara walters just said penis...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
