He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
