No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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