As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
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Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
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I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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