Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
