I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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