you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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