theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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