Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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