Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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