It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize