I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
