Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
