Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
