sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
