despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
