6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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