No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
