I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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