It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
