You're my little dorito
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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