I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
