are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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