OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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