is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize