why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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