My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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