So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
