well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
