but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
