Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
