I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
