During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
