Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize