There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
