is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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