East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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