i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
