Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
