I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize