so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
