I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
