im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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